Sunday S.O.S.

Sacrament meeting with my children is a trial of my faith.

I was preparing a gratitude-filled post with inspiring quotes, but I will have to save that for another time. Because after being pawed to death by my children-turned-demons today at church I decided to send out an S.O.S. to the smartest mom's I know (That's you.) Help! How do you survive sacrament meeting with your kids?

A year or so ago I wrote the following:

Getting kids out of the car and into the church can be quite a challenge. Especially when kids have fallen asleep in the car. I feel like I'm a fireman hauling dead-weight children from a fire, then running back out to get more, hustling to get seated before the opening song ends. Or some days staggering under the weight of several kids at a time and trying to keep my skirt up while my arms go numb and kids slide down each hip. (Word to Wise: Always double-knot drawstring skirt!)

Then once we're seated (after squishing past the bookend members to the middle of the row) a kid inevitably whacks their noggin on the hymnal holder (probably trying to reach for that crusty fruit snack left on the floor from the last ward.) Thus begins the evacuation procedure in reverse. This time as fast as possible before the wounded finishes taking that initial breath. (You know, the one that sucks all available air from the room as the kid prepares for a chandelier shattering wail.)

I squeeze through the row, sucking in so as not to booty-bump Brother So and So in the back of the head. I am dodging scripture cases and trying to untangle from the high-heel hungry tentacles of purses under the pew all while trying not to land in Sister Whatsits lap (again.) My efforts at sneaking past are futile because my little banshee's foot gives Brother Almost Asleep a swift kick as we shimmy through and my diaper bag knocks out Sister End of the Row as we stumble into the aisle. "Don't worry Brother End of the Row, I'll fireman carry her out too. Back in a flash..."
I am proud to report I have gotten better at getting everyone into and out of the building. (I'd like to see a fireman do that in heels!) But I haven't yet figured out how to have a revelatory meeting while the kids are playing 'king of the mountain' on my lap, squishing my cheeks and mussing my hair. If you are able to maintain reverence and sanity under such circumstances you are a zen master and my hero and I could use your tips. S.O.S "Save Our Sunday!"

 --------------------------- Jana is a mother of five who is VERY thankful for her children's primary and nursery leaders. She is also thankful for the squishy chair in the mother's lounge where she can hide and rock in the corner to recover from sacrament meeting. :) ----------------------------------